Fighting for Innocence.
Posted by Hannah Etsebeth | Posted in Musings | Posted on 21-06-2010
Tags: children, children growing up to fast, christian, growing up, innocence
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Innocence just doesn’t seem to get fought for much in today’s cultures.
I was pulling up to a stop light on a residential road where I saw a kid who looked to be about 7 walking with his mom. Having just had his hair cut at the neighborhood barber, he kept rubbing his hand up the back of his head with a smug smirk on his face. He was proud of his hair cut. But the thing that struck me wasn’t the hair (although the spikes on top were perfectly formed). It was the look on his face, that was pure and simple… innocent. I looked at him and his mom and thought… “He has a good mom. You can tell that. He’s a good kid. You can tell that. His face is innocent and he is loved.”
Will that innocence disappear from his face too? How long until his innocence is gone? When will the pure naivety leave his face? And when innocence leaves, where does it go? Who takes it? How can it be stopped?
Innocence seems to disappear so quickly…
This past week I have become keenly aware of the innocence of children everywhere and have found myself wondering when the exact time is that the innocence from the face of a child begins to fade.
Currently, my man is in Africa. While there he’s met many orphans and has seen a country laden with beautiful people and also deep sorrow… much like the rest of the world, just manifesting itself differently. When he talks about children growing up too fast in Uganda, he doesn’t reference wearing makeup too early, but he said that 50% of the children are having sex by the time they are 15 years old. 50%. Shocking.
Children are growing up too fast all over the world. However, it seems like our culture actually encourages it. I believe that innocence is beautiful. We should fight for the innocence of our children… always.
I really am curious what your thoughts are on this as my questions are sincere. How do we protect the innocence of our children? How do we keep our children from growing up to fast, and what is too fast?
**Photo Credit**
Hannah,
I am a youth pastor at a small church in Argyle, TX. You and I are friends on facebook. I can tell you with a reasonable degree of certainty that the percentage of American teens that are sexually active by the age of 15 is not as far from 50% as we would like to think. Some of the questions kids ask me… I just don’t have the words to describe how it grieves my heart. Personally, I believe that the loss of innocence is a gradual process, usually prompted by traumatic events (ie. seeing someone die, viewing of intense violence or pornography, losing stability in household). I think that the completion of losing ones innocence occurs when those same types of acts are perpetrated by the individual (ie. engaging in pre-marital sex, acting in violence, malicous acts towards others.) The Bible teaches us that it is what goes out of us that makes us unclean (impure), not what is sometimes forced upon us (Matthew 15:11, which I believe is metaphorical as much as literal)
How do we preotect innocence in our youth? I have seen authoritarian parents attempt to instill by force and discipline, a “guard” to protect the innocence of their children. I have seen it succeed and fail. I have also watched parents give kids as much freedom as possible and try to allow the children to learn from experience and be lead by their conscience or the the Holy Spirit. I have also seen that succeed and fail. Not being a parent myself, I am unqualified to comment on parenting styles etc.
The culture around us (schools, internt, television, celebrities, music, sports figures, etc etc etc) pushes non-innocent media onto and into our youth. I think the real question is, “how do we win the culture war?”.
If I had to put raw data to it, my best educated guess would be:
Avg age child begins to lose innocence in US: 10
Avg age child loses innocence in US: 16
Most common cause: internet or peer
Not sure I answered any of your questions, lol, but I believe this is the topic that will shape the furture of our nation and the world.
Timothy Boykin
PS: Love your blog. Always relevant, always eloquent.
Hey Timothy! Great to hear from you.
I think it’s interesting how you said that you think the question is that it may be a matter of winning the culture war versus protecting innocence. Yes, it can be tough… Sheltering a child can lead downwards as can too much freedom… I wish there was a clear answer. I love your thoughts! Love them.
Ahhh… a question I ask myself on a near daily basis. I used to look around me and wonder what the world was coming to; condemnation in my thoughts. Last year, I was introduced to many low-income families in our area via my work and was horrified to see what they consider “normal and healthy”.
My son is almost a year old and I’m worried that because he’s taller than the other babies, in time, people will assume he is older than he really is. In my opinion, children lose their innocence when they are exposed to the societal norms before their time. Children should be outside playing in the dirt and catching fireflies instead of texting with their buddies about what 3rd grade is going to be like. I feel that our children are losing their innocence when their parents choose to make them their confidants and partners instead of allowing them to live out their childhood!
Hi Laura! I agree with “dirt and fireflies”… my favorite times as a kid involved amazing “recipes” I found in my backyard. You’re last line “I feel that our children are losing their innocence when their parents choose to make them their confidants and partners instead of allowing them to live out their childhood” was well, well stated. I think that is a subject that is not often approached but is so, so true. Has me thinking!
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